Run To Stand Still

Run To Stand Still
http://lisaraewinant.blogspot.com/

Am I getting anywhere?

Why do I feel like I’m going a hundred miles an hour? Why are things going every which way but the way they are supposed to? Do I just not understand myself? I feel as though every single day is getting harder and more confusing. Does this happen to everyone? Does it ever stop? Will I ever feel good about the way things are in my life?

I look down the road and see that I can be happy, but I think I am happy now too. I’m just becoming an independent. I am figuring things out on my own. They just seem chaotic as I figure them out. In the end I’m still me no matter how things end up aren’t I? I ran the distance to see that I might go through changes but I will always be me. I have learned so far that becoming a young adult and deciding for you is not easy. We want the best for ourselves and our future but determining what is the best is what life is all about. We won’t get it right to first time, or the second time or maybe even the 10th time, but we learn from them and seek alternate routes when need be. One way or another we will find our place in the world but it won’t be easy. Life will never be easy. It takes you around in all directions, it shows you all different outcomes and sooner or later one of those outcomes is the one for you. You just have to decide when to stop running from them all.

The closer I get to entering into the Real world feels like falling off the edge of the world if there were one and getting nowhere. I’m breathing and panting heavily but here is no air at times. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I hype myself up because I don’t have all the answers, but who does? This life is a running marathon; you know that all this suffering will soon come to an end, but getting there takes all the endurance you have. Use every bit of that endurance and you an dI will finally see the light where it never shined for us before.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Coming a long way and still going.....

This has been one of the hardest and longest semesters for me, as well as it should be because I only have one left remaining. This sem. has come with a lot of rough times to get through, and somehow I am managing. I am pretty nervous to be a college graduate because I know after that is not going to be an easy road to get where I want to be. Actually, I don't even know where I want to be to be completely honest. Although I do know that somewhere and somehow things will fall into place, they always do! So instead of planning what I want to do, I have just been planning my next marathons. At the very end of May I will run the Rock and Roll in San Diego, October I will be In PA running the Steamboat and in Nov. I hope to finish the Manchester City again. As for my long term planning, I have decided to not plan and just live day by day. It will get me somewhere, and a lot faster than planning something that will most likely not happen.
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1 comment:

biscotti dana said...

Your marathon runs that you are planning sound like a ton of work, but like they also bring you peace of mind. Good for you!

Enjoy your holidays.

December 16, 2008 at 6:18 AM

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