Am I getting anywhere?
Why do I feel like I’m going a hundred miles an hour? Why are things going every which way but the way they are supposed to? Do I just not understand myself? I feel as though every single day is getting harder and more confusing. Does this happen to everyone? Does it ever stop? Will I ever feel good about the way things are in my life?
I look down the road and see that I can be happy, but I think I am happy now too. I’m just becoming an independent. I am figuring things out on my own. They just seem chaotic as I figure them out. In the end I’m still me no matter how things end up aren’t I? I ran the distance to see that I might go through changes but I will always be me. I have learned so far that becoming a young adult and deciding for you is not easy. We want the best for ourselves and our future but determining what is the best is what life is all about. We won’t get it right to first time, or the second time or maybe even the 10th time, but we learn from them and seek alternate routes when need be. One way or another we will find our place in the world but it won’t be easy. Life will never be easy. It takes you around in all directions, it shows you all different outcomes and sooner or later one of those outcomes is the one for you. You just have to decide when to stop running from them all.
The closer I get to entering into the Real world feels like falling off the edge of the world if there were one and getting nowhere. I’m breathing and panting heavily but here is no air at times. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I hype myself up because I don’t have all the answers, but who does? This life is a running marathon; you know that all this suffering will soon come to an end, but getting there takes all the endurance you have. Use every bit of that endurance and you an dI will finally see the light where it never shined for us before.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Thanks to eveyone!
Also I wanted to add that I am going to San Diego after I graduate in May to run the Rock and Roll marathon. My closest friend was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma. We both joined an organization called Team in Training (TNT). They are a big fund raising org. and one of the events they participate in is this marathon in San Diego! So why not treat myself as a graduation present to a beautiful vacation and do something good while I am there?
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
My Greatest Accomplishment Yet!
As I reached mile 18 I could feel my body turn into Gumby! I felt as if I was going to collapse from the waist down, but I kept on truckin. I had a pace runner waiting for me at Mile 19 and she truly got me to the finish line. My best friend Kate, who hates to run, ran with me up until mile 25. Throughout that time, my biggest fan (my dad), my brother and another close friend of mine were following me the last 7 miles giving me water, banana, and gu breaks. Without the support I got form them, I am not sure how I would have made it to the finish line.
As I ran my last mile alone, I suddenly got this runners high. I was almost done and I couldn't be more excited. I shut my Ipod off and enjoyed the rest of the run. As I crossed the finish line all I could think about was that this was the biggest accomplishment of my life so far.
Now, four days later, I am planning my next marathon. A trip to PA in October to run the Steamtown Marathon.